A light bulb has finally turned on inside my head! It has taken almost a year of struggling, but I have to say. I am really ready to LIVE! I have been “in the depths of despair” for way too long! It is time to turn on the light and step out of the darkness.
I talked about the seminar that I listened to in my last post and how I realized that I am the author of my own story! I am in charge of my own happiness, but I really do not have to do it alone! I must say that I the same renewed feelings yesterday and today. I am ready to WAKE UP! I am ready to start working for my own happiness and to “create my AMAZING life!”
I found this scripture today that I really love.
“O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe.” (2 Nephi 1:14)
Over that last year I have listened to the wrong kind of voices. I have listened to the negative voices of the servants of Satan who are trying to drag me down. I was in a deep sleep, a place where I was not allowing the Holy Ghost to speak to me because the negative voices were screaming in my ear. But I WILL NOT listen to them ANYMORE!
I also thought of this classic scripture from seminary,
“Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.” 2 Nephi 2:27
He is miserable. He is angry and he really wants me to fail. He hates me. I feel like I was numb. I had hardened my heart to the Spirit and had allowed myself to fall into the darkness. But NO LONGER!
I am going to “Awake, my (daughter) and put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound) 2 Nephi 1:23
On Saturday, my cute eight year old chose to follow Jesus Christ’s example and to be baptized. Now this kid has never really committed a “sin” in his life. He makes mistakes like we all do, but I know he understands the importance of opening the gate towards his own spiritual journey. He is old enough to recognize good and bad and right and wrong. I know that he knows. He is a great example to me of love and having a fun attitude.
It puts things into prospective for me to think how much my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me because when I saw my father and my eldest brother in the room at the baptism, I realized that they would do anything for me. I also know that my Heavenly Father and my older Brother Jesus Christ will also do anything for me. I can have the close relationship that I want with them. They are just waiting for me to wake up and open up the door.
I will choose happiness! I will “shake off” Satan’s bands and I will LIVE!