Choicing LIght

“Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy:

when I fall, I shall arise;

when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.”

MIcah 7:8

I am memorizing this scripture. When I feel the negative voices closing in on me, telling me that I am not good enough, pretty enough, have the wrong body size, or I am not a very good mom or wife, etc, I do have a choice! I choose light! When I fall, I will arise and I won’t sit around and dwell on negative things, I will live my life and I will choose happiness. I will choose light. I will reach out to the One who has felt all pain, all sadness, all disappointments and failures, and let him be my strength.

Baby Steps

I laugh when I think about when I set goals. I start with one and then I think “while I am at it I really need to do thisĀ and do that” and I just keep adding more and more goals. I try to do everything on my list for about five days and then I feel overwhelmed and give up. I talked with my husband and he just suggested I do one goal for one month until I’ve got it down and then I can add more things. He is an engineer and extremely sensible. He is the one that keeps me grounded in so many, many ways.

So here is my attempt at improving my life, one Baby Step at a time. My first step is to create this blog where I can write and share my feelings about my physical health, my mental health, and my desire for happiness. if you click on the page about me it says that I have struggled with depression for most of my life. 2014 was a hard year. I thought about ending my life and I do not want to do that. I have struggled since last July to get healthy, mentally, spiritually, and physically and to resurrect the vivacious, fun and creative me that I have killed in such a slow, painful way over the last eighteen years.

I love the movie “What About Bob” and I love this clip.

I really just need to take things one step at a time. Each entry will be like a baby step toward a more healthier me.

One day I will be sailing!